Your most important job in life – are you ready?

I am a mother of 2 beautiful and generally well mannered boys, who give me a reason to live and who I would do anything for.  However, kids will always be kids! They misbehave, embarrass you in the supermarket, wake up at night, answer or attempt to answer back, challenge you with food choices or the lack of choice and generally ensure that you are always on your toes. Being a parent is a tough gig! But we cannot blame our children for the challenges they present us with as we made the choice of having them in the first place and they did not have any say in it!

Adults decide to bring children into this world often without realising the enormous responsibility that it brings with it.  Overnight you become 100%  responsible for another human being, who will rely on you, your strenth, your advice and your guidance their whole life.   This is not to say that your child will always listen to anything you have to say.  Quiet the opposite, children test the boundaries and how much they can get away with from a very young age.  This includes sleeping, eating, playing, crying and otherwise interracting with the rest of the universe around them. And unfortunately new born babies do not come with an instruction manual of troubleshooting questions and answers unlike everything else surrounding us.

Most parents continuously complain to anyone who would listen about lack of sleep, lack of personal time and generally how hard life is after kids come along.  Well, all parents are in the same boat and life is as hard and complicated as you let it be.  Remember that all problems have a solution. However, sometimes particular solutions do not fit our lifestyle, personality or beliefs.  For example, sleep is like any other skill babies have to learn. If we do not teach them this skill from a very young age, we cannot later complain that our children are bad sleepers.  I am not talking about harsh concepts like controlled crying which makes most parents cringe, but exercising some self control whilst still providing the nurturing sleep environment and not being lazy due to being too tired after work or a long day.

I often hear people say that life is finished once you have children.  I truly feel sorry for them as for me life just began when my first born entered this world. As testing as they are, children provide joy like no one else can and unconditional love.  If you teach your kids the concept of mutual respect, leading by example, any issues and potential problems will just become stepping stones in developing kind and generous adults. Therefore, I compose myself during those trying moments, remind myself  to enjoy each moment so that I do not look back at their childhood with regrets, wishing I could have changed something.  You often remember moments from the past and wish you could relive them. I want to look at my kids childhood and know that we all enjoyed every moment of it. As for lack of sleep – sleep is overrated anyway!

Technology – convenience or hindrance?

Gone are the days when you referred to an apple and everyone understood you were talking about a fruit and a playstation meant a playground in the local park.

Today we are surrounded by technology, such as mobile phones, desktop and portable computers, music and video devices, various game consoles connected to slim, state of the art televisions, and this is just naming a few.  Our modernised existence poses two issues in need of daily resolution: managing expectations of those trying to get in contact with us and finding real face-to-face time to spend with family and friends.

These days, most devices have the ability to operate though the Internet which makes us easily accessible to the rest of the world.  This, in itself, is a great convenience and an absolute hinderance to our daily lives.  We are constantly available by phone, email and via all types of social media, like Twitter and Facebook.

We are all guilty of checking our mobile phone as soon as a message is received and the same applies to emails.  Instantaneous reply has become an addiction, which is almost impossible to break.  Besides, there is an expectation from those trying to contact us that we will reply almost immediately regardless of the time of the day or how long we may need to process the information and respond.  Such unrealistic expectations also do not take into account all other activities we may be undertaking at the time the message or the email is received.  No wonder that the quality time spent with our children, family and friends has been vastly diminished.  To add to the ‘injury’, we teach our children to mirrow our behaviour.

These days, an average four year old child is very familiar with how to open and navigate their way though an iPhone, a portable DVD player or television and a portable game console.  Kids no longer want to play outside as they do not possess the skills to keep themselves occupied without getting bored and finding something new to move on to.  Instead, they are happy to utilise all the available devices within and outside their household continuing to do so on the go, in the cafes, shopping centres and even playgrounds and parks.

Why have we allowed our kids to disconnect with us in favour of technology?  Looking closely at the issue, perceived convenience seems to be the main reason.  This way we can keep the children quiet whilst we undertake another task, like having a coffee and a conversation with a friend, which would be a positive deed if not for the complete disconnection with our child, sending an email, answering a telephone call (obviously from a different phone to the one in the child’s hands) and not having to endure the possibility of screams and tantrums as a result of the child not getting the required attention.

Our friends and family suffer the same fate.  However, in this case, it is us not being able to put the tools down and just having a conversation, which is not interrupted by anything.

How do we break the vicious cycle? The easiest solution that comes to mind is taming the technology.  Most definitely it is easier said that done, but if a conscious effort is made, anything is achievable.  Emails can be read and replied to a couple of times a day at the predetermined hours of the day, same being applicable to the access and usage of social media sites and even  answering the landline or mobile phone.

A good example has been set by a well known car manufacturer.  Volkswagen created a company policy in regards to employees receiving emails and stopped its email server from sending emails to employees outside the work hours.  We should all follow Volkswagen’s lead and deploy the same strategy in our nightly routine and on the weekends. However, as any addiction goes, it needs time and proper “medication” for any chance of it being cured.

Can we kerb the addition to technology?  Unless we admit the problem and make a cognisant effort to solve it, this is an impossible task.